Last night my best frnd Anil ( name changed ) called me up and said he wanted to talk something important. He seemed to be restless. As i guessed there was a problem. He told that he called off his engagement which is due in a week and the marriage that was planned in next month. Now, its my turn to be shocked. Reason - Some guy called my frnd yesterday afternoon to say that the girl, whom my frnd is going to marry is in love with him.
My immediate reaction to my frnd "stop believing this bull shit". My frnd had burst out of angst and said - " Phani , u know me for years , am I such a fool to believe what another fool said "...He lost his temper for a moment and then calmed down.Never in my last 5 yrs of his association have I seen him erupting this way. He is a shrewd guy and i look up to to him for his frank opinions in my personal matters. A man of foresightedness , he took the responsibility of his family due to certain compelling reasons and this made him understand the intricacies of this complex world. After accomplishing the goals that he had set for himself and after helping his siblings to settle well in their lives , now he started searching for his soul mate. A gentleman with straight forward nature and has never been in a relationship bcoz of his commitments to his family.He is very upbeat bout this match to be finalised and informed bout it to few of his frns.
When he told a week back that his marriage is almost settled , i was the first person to be happy. After all , he got some time to think bout himself . Now , when he told this shocking news , i was upset . My frnd after receiving a call informed the same to the mediators , who are his own relatives who in turn talked to the gal's parents.
" That was true but all that happened an year back" - the gals father said to the mediators and struck a deal with the mediators to conceal the fact - reliable Sources revealed.The way they reacted clearly pointed out that there was something fishy. But gals father claimed innocence before my frnd saying dat was a hoax call."We will inquire bout it " , gal's father said.
My friend felt cheated for not being told about the issue at the beginning. His only question - "why should they wait till some tom, dick and harry call me and talk nonsense bout the gal that am gonna marry."
" I don't bother bout what has happened but about not being told regarding that ", he said.
Now that most of the people came to know bout the phone call , circumstanses proving that the girl is being persuaded to marry him, no surety of a peaceful life after this marriage ...as this phone call left a billion unanswered questions in my frnds mind, ..he has no option but to call off the marriage. Of course , since engagement was due , its not that big a problem , except for the broken hearts.
Now, my frnd tells to his relatives n frns that the match was cancelled becoz of someother bla..bla..bla..reason , but not the real one , keeping inview the future of that gal.
This post is dedicated my frnd and upon his consent, I am publishing this post.He wants to know your opinion if he had done the right thing.
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Now that the post has received a gud number of responses , I thank each and everyone who read the post and also those who contributed their valuable insights to the post. After reading them , my frnd got very much relieved and conveyed his warm thanks to all of you. Upon his request , comment column for this post has been frozen.
See you all with my next post. Till then , Bye.
Regards,
Phanivijay.
10 comments:
What he did is absolutely right ... but at the same time, one piece of advice is to ensure these things before confirming the marriage itself, and who else to know it from than the girl herself ? I'd say that your friend should have had a frank discussion with the Girl in the initial phase itself and asked all these questions and more in a subtle manner.... my sympathies dude .. I'm sure he deserves much better ... :)
yet another heart-warming & 'moving' post phani..gr8 going..
my sympathy to ur friend..really sorry for the poor guy..he definitely deserves something better in life for all the troubles he has gone through as you have described in ur post..i'm sure he'll find the right girl for him very soon..cheer up mr. anil! :)
shit happens!! but you move on... what he did was apt...but ask him to move on.. nothing and no one is perfect in this world.. some succeed and marry ones they loved.. some feel that it wouldn't work and compromise with life... Like KD said he should've taken more time in knowing things and should've assured her that things would proceed only after she likes..
In his life, your friend can get many such proposals....how will he ever know whom he is gonna marry never had a affair before? He wont unless he devotes time in that relationship!
Imagine this incidence happening after his marriage to her? Would he have divorced her? Is the action justified?
According to me, first he should have got to know the girl better....let his relation with her mature gradually....let a strong friendship be a base for a successful future ahead with her....with a strong friendship comes truth, trust and love! And only after knowing the truth from her, he should have had decided....
Jumping to conclusions like he did cant solve his problems....
-Meenal A. Mukadam
the fact tht the gal's father tried to cover up is one good reason to call off the marriage. But, talking to the bride and taking her perspective is also equally imp. It might have happened tht her father got some wrong impression of her affair and could have overreacted. Talking to the gal will ans many questions.
As we all know, trust and honesty are the most important pillars of any relationship. If they are missing, then there is no reason to continue.
I would say you should ask the girl itself, does she love the person (who called on phone) or not. If she doesn't and it was an earlier affair then you should not break the marriage. That's what i think. The girl's family didn't tell this thing coz they might have thought that the affair had been over an year back so why not conceal this fact
JO HOTA HAI..AACHEY KELEYYE HOTA HAI..Anil i suggest you to make a call to her..be cool..try to know the reason behind the scenes..and once you put off of the call its all over..no more running thoughts, no more fretting and brooding...keep yourself busy..its not your mistake dude..so move on...i'm sure you will have a happier tommorow.
we discussed this this post.. me n sidharth... n...our suggestion is to enquiry from the gal before taking such a decision. he need direct talk wid gal... we believe that before starting up a new relation both bride and groom should agree to the marriage. So ur frnd should ask a frank opinion of the gal." what exactly she needs". But the thing is that the gal can be in her family pressure so she may go ahead with marriage. But ur frnd needs to convince the girl that her frank opinion will nt in leaked and if she gives her frank opinion then that could save 3 persons life. we think after saying this the gal will be sensible enough to decide. Final decision should be of ur frnd and the gal as they have to lead the life together. The only point to be discussed is that the Old affair should not effect the gals life in future.
- Sidharth n Mahesh
Now that the post has received a gud number of responses , I thank each and everyone who read the post and also those who contributed their valuable insights to the post. After reading them , my frnd got very much relieved and conveyed his warm thanks to all of you. Upon his request , comment column for this post has been frozen.
See you all with my next post. Till then , Bye.
Regards,
Phanivijay.
Shit Happens Brother !!!! but this could have been avoided.
Whatever happened is happened and its in a way
good for him that this happened before marriage.
Its easier said than felt, I know. Imagine this happening after his marriage, oh no, no one should ever face this kinda problem. Great days are ahead for Mr. Anil.
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