Time 9:40 AM . My wife was looking at the wall clock as the maid hadn't turned up yet. Just a week back I suggested to my wife,to replace her with another maid as she lacks time management and we had to call the maid often to know by what time she comes.Since my profession deals in Data Analytics , I am able to see a clear pattern of increase in the mobile recharges for my wife's phone after this maid starting coming to our house. During 2 days of Diwali the maid was very punctual and placed her demands for Diwali bonus.We complied.Now that she had received some Diwali gifts+bonus , I was pretty sure , she will become complacent.Even the watchman,house keeping person of our society took Diwali tips from flat owners and the very next day I heard that it was their last day.Following their footsteps,as expected , the maid informed over phone that she can't come for that day.
To add icing to the cake , our neighbours asked to take care of their 3 year old son for four hrs owing to the kids Diwali holidays at play school.They are very helpful people and often take care of my daughter when we stay out.The Kid's mom goes out for competitive exam coaching during that time.Our families are close and we sometimes ask their help to take care of our one-and-half yr old daughter .My office shift timing is from 1-10 pm.I thought it was easy because effort is the same to engage with one kid or two kids.I latter realized I was wrong. Effort multiplies.
Now, since the maid went on sudden leave, my wife asked me to tell the watchman if any other maid can work for that single day. When I stepped out of our flat, kids ran up to me crying to take them along.I had to take them along as they danced in the lift ,pressing all the buttons of all the floors and shouting on their top of the voice.Luckily I found a house keeping maid who told that she can come at 2 pm to clean kitchen utensils. I was elated to say to my wife that I found someone to work for that day. When I told it to my wife, she asked what's the need to wait till 2 pm and I should have convinced her to come right away as cleaning kitchen utensils just take 10-15 mins and. I lost the sense of achievement for what I had done.
In the four years of marriage, I rarely felt that I did something just the right way my wife expected.If I go an extra mile and do something more than what she told, I would be asked who told me to apply my own brain.So, I started doing only what I was told to do.Then I was told to use my common sense to do that extra thing which is implied in the statement provided. Ever since, I started doubting if I would ever be able to decode the correct depth of my wife's statements in my life time. Owing to this performance, she feels that she can do my office job single handedly and often wonders how I got promoted in the last appraisal. I shared it with my close friend from Bihar , Amit Kumar - who replied "Same Pinch". Even his wife feels exactly the same about him. I was bit relieved.But my happiest moment came when our family went to Bangalore for a get together. My childhood classmates from 1st-10th class meet once in 3-4 years at one city or the other. Now most of them are married and with little kids. During the Bangalore get together, there was a discussion, no a debate started between all the ladies. They started debating very seriously. And the topic is - "My husband is the dumbest of all". Each of them explained so funnily , so enthusiastically how dumb their husbands .And I am very happy that I hadn't topped the list at the end of debate, as other woman were able to dominate in explaining the dumbness of their husbands better.
Meanwhile the mom of the 3 year Kid came to take her son back and told my wife that she is planning to put her kid in day care for next 5 days as his Diwali holidays got extended.My wife being kind enough , told that there is no such need and we (meaning "I"- the husband ) can take their kid during those 3-4 hours in the next five days.I was missing from the scene as I was searching the bat downstairs.Else I would have expalined my wife how difficult it would be to do a daddy day-care for our naughty baby alone.Once I returned, she told what she conveyed to the kid's mom.
"Upset-Anger..Puzzled" were little words to describe my feelings then.On top of it, my wife also informed me that the maid may not return for next 2-3 days.Having read certain anger management tactics,I took deep breaths for next couple of minutes.To escape from the impending ordeal ,I then contemplated to change my office shift timings to morning if its feasible, else the company itself. !!! All this happened because of the maid taking a sudden leave and my wife getting busy with household work which left me with no choice but do a "Daddy-Day Care".In the hindsight, I left wondering - Can a maid going on leave alter my career path ??
7 comments:
Good article, All the best for next 5 days :)
Vijay, i faced the same problem from my maid servant. Imagine how a working woman can manage without a maid servant, it’s horrible to manage. But finally I put a check for this by buying a Dishwasher; this saved my half of the time and I can spend most of the time with my husband after our office hours. Sweeping is a big difficult job for me when my maid servant does not come. But now i thought it would be an exercise for me and i am happily doing it instead of going to GYM to burn calories.... Mopping my floor for alternate days with “Easy Mop Stick” is also very easy..... And a sweet thing which i need to mention here is my husband is taking part on some of the house hold activities ... where we are finding some time to spend together after our office hours....
Thanks Sandip.
Nice to know your experience Sushma.
Just wondering if other husbands felt similar way anytime and what their queens think about their Kings. Please share it in comments.Might be useful for someone :)
Nice article Phani. Felt very happy reading your lifetime story as missing my presence there but story is no different to my situation except that we don't have maids in UK and how horrible it will be to manage both home & work for my queen. Teach me anger management buddy when I meet you next time.......... :-)
Lol.. bava what happened to karthik .
Can't stop laughing :))
Thank you so much my dear friend for baby sitting that too of a kid like Dev (LOL). Of course you are my friend and less a neighbour. And I promise will not hesitate to give you much more such opportunities in future. All the best :))
Yes indeed, I have been wanting to share this syndrome afflicting me, with as many people as possible. And, till now, I find myself reasonably successful in doing so. Your piece came just in time for me to congratulate myself on having been in good resonance for presumably quite long now.
Such days have befallen us that I have been able to find a rather ingenious solution for this problem – becoming a domestic help for my domestic help ! As you can well see, this entails going to her ( their ) place, washing their dishes; washing their clothes ( no washing machine facility, obviously ); cleaning their house ( both the inside and the outside ); clearing their garbage; and, cleaning their SUV. Periodic episodes of body pains showing up in our maid give me an opportunity to give her a good body massage.
And, in extraordinary circumstances, tend to her other needs like putting drops in her eyes – post her cataract operation – apart from delivering already cooked food ( sometimes even cooking ourselves ) and providing containers of drinking water for all her family members.
After some time, our maid came up with an even more ingenious proposal. Having seen me reach out to her and her ones in such an astonishingly effective manner, she suggested that I go to all those houses where she 'works' and do all the initially mentioned four to five chores on her behalf. This has worked out even better for us, since I am easily able to cover all those ( four to five ) other houses as well, quite as effectively. I collect the salary that accrues to her from each one of those houses and hand all that over to her.
Well, we very rarely go out of station. But whenever we indeed have to, it has to be a very tight schedule,as I have to be back to resume work which I am forced to miss for that duration, much to her consternation.
Anyhow, I am much indebted to this condition of mine because it has played its wonderful part in making me more active, more able and capable, more skilled and talented, and above all, much less dependent on anybody or anything else for even the most difficult of things. May the numbers of this tribe swell !
Willingly,
KARTIK KOTA
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